{"id":2120,"date":"2026-05-20T20:40:45","date_gmt":"2026-05-20T20:40:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usglobalnews.com\/2026\/05\/20\/how-to-help-children-cope-after-shootings-like-the-san-diego-mosque-killings\/"},"modified":"2026-05-20T20:40:45","modified_gmt":"2026-05-20T20:40:45","slug":"how-to-help-children-cope-after-shootings-like-the-san-diego-mosque-killings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/?p=2120","title":{"rendered":"How to help children cope after shootings like the San Diego mosque killings"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"slug-wrap\">\n<h3 class=\"slug\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/sections\/childrens-health\/\">Children&#8217;s Health<\/a><br \/>\n    <\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"storytitle\">\n<h1>How to help children cope after shootings like the San Diego mosque killings<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"STORYTITLE\" --><\/p>\n<div id=\"story-meta\" class=\"story-meta has-byline\">\n<div class=\"story-meta__one\">\n<div class=\"story-meta__one-inner\">\n<div class=\"dateblock\">\n    <time datetime=\"2026-05-20T16:24:19-04:00\"><br \/>\n            <span class=\"date\">May 20, 2026<\/span><span class=\"time\">4:24 PM ET<\/span><br \/>\n    <\/time>\n<\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"STORY-META__ONE-INNER\" -->\n   <\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"STORY-META__ONE\" --><\/p>\n<div class=\"story-meta__two\">\n<div id=\"storybyline\" class=\"storybyline-wrap linkLocation\">\n<div class=\"bucketwrap byline\">\n<div class=\"byline-container--block\">\n<p class=\"byline__name--block\">By\u00a0<\/p>\n<div class=\"byline byline--block byline--has-link\" aria-label=\"Byline\">\n<p class=\"byline__name byline__name--block\">\n      <a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/people\/578890280\/rhitu-chatterjee\" rel=\"author\"><br \/>\n      Rhitu Chatterjee<br \/>\n    <\/a>\n  <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"BUCKETWRAP BYLINE\" -->\n      <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"STORY-META__TWO\" -->\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- END ID=\"STORY-META\" CLASS=\"STORY-META HAS-BYLINE\" --><\/p>\n<div id=\"headlineaudio\" class=\"storylocation linkLocation\">\n<article id=\"resnx-s1-9776839\" class=\"bucketwrap resaudio\" aria-label=\"audio-module\">\n<div class=\"audio-module\">\n<h4 class=\"audio-module-title\">School children at San Diego mosque need support to process trauma of shooting<\/h4>\n<div class=\"audio-module-controls-wrap\" data-audio='{\"uid\":\"nx-s1-5828810:nx-s1-9776839\",\"available\":true,\"duration\":211,\"title\":\"School children at San Diego mosque need support to process trauma of shooting\",\"audioUrl\":\"https:\/\/ondemand.npr.org\/anon.npr-mp3\/npr\/atc\/2026\/05\/20260519_atc_school_children_at_san_diego_mosque_need_support_to_process_trauma_of_shooting.mp3?t=progseg&amp;e=nx-s1-5792727&amp;p=2&amp;seg=4&amp;d=211&amp;size=3377155&amp;sc=siteplayer\",\"storyUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/05\/20\/nx-s1-5828810\/mass-shooting-san-diego-mosque-trauma-children-buffer\",\"slug\":\"childrenu0027s health\",\"program\":\"\",\"affiliation\":\"\",\"song\":\"\",\"artist\":\"\",\"album\":\"\",\"track\":0,\"type\":\"segment\",\"subtype\":\"other\",\"skipSponsorship\":false,\"hasAdsWizz\":false,\"isStreamAudioType\":false,\"podcastEpisodeRawType\":\"\",\"podcastEpisodeDerivedPlusType\":\"\"}' data-audio-metrics=\"[]\">\n<div class=\"audio-module-controls audio-module-controls--no-js\">\n            <a class=\"audio-module-listen\" href=\"https:\/\/ondemand.npr.org\/anon.npr-mp3\/npr\/atc\/2026\/05\/20260519_atc_school_children_at_san_diego_mosque_need_support_to_process_trauma_of_shooting.mp3?t=progseg&amp;e=nx-s1-5792727&amp;p=2&amp;seg=4&amp;d=211&amp;size=3377155&amp;sc=siteplayer&amp;aw_0_1st.playerid=siteplayer\"><br \/>\n                <b class=\"audio-module-listen-inner\"><br \/>\n                    <b class=\"audio-module-listen-text\"><br \/>\n                        <b class=\"audio-module-cta\"><br \/>\n                            Listen<br \/>\n                        <\/b><br \/>\n                        <b class=\"audio-module-listen-duration\"><br \/>\n                            <span>\u00b7 <\/span><br \/>\n                            <span>3:31<\/span><br \/>\n                        <\/b><br \/>\n                    <\/b><br \/>\n                <\/b><br \/>\n            <\/a><br \/>\n                <time class=\"audio-module-duration\" datetime=\"P3M,31S\"><br \/>\n                  <span class=\"audio-module-duration__initial-value\">3:31<\/span><br \/>\n                <\/time>\n        <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"audio-module-tools\">\n            <a class=\"audio-tool audio-tool-transcript\" href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/transcripts\/nx-s1-5828810\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"audio\",\"action\":\"audio_click_transcript\",\"storyId\":\"nx-s1-5828810\",\"mediaId\":\"nx-s1-9776839\",\"title\":\"How to help children cope after shootings like the San Diego mosque killings\",\"type\":\"ondemand\"}'><br \/>\n                <b class=\"audio-tool-label\">Transcript<\/b><br \/>\n            <\/a><br \/>\n        <button class=\"audio-module-tools-toggle\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"audio\",\"action\":\"audio_open_more_options\",\"storyId\":\"nx-s1-5828810\",\"mediaId\":\"nx-s1-9776839\",\"title\":\"How to help children cope after shootings like the San Diego mosque killings\",\"type\":\"ondemand\"}'><br \/>\n            <b class=\"label\">Toggle more options<\/b><br \/>\n        <\/button><\/p>\n<ul class=\"audio-module-more-tools\">\n<li class=\"audio-tool audio-tool-download\"><a href=\"https:\/\/ondemand.npr.org\/anon.npr-mp3\/npr\/atc\/2026\/05\/20260519_atc_school_children_at_san_diego_mosque_need_support_to_process_trauma_of_shooting.mp3?t=progseg&amp;e=nx-s1-5792727&amp;p=2&amp;seg=4&amp;d=211&amp;size=3377155&amp;sc=siteplayer&amp;aw_0_1st.playerid=siteplayer\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"audio\",\"action\":\"audio_download\",\"storyId\":\"nx-s1-5828810\",\"mediaId\":\"nx-s1-9776839\",\"title\":\"How to help children cope after shootings like the San Diego mosque killings\",\"type\":\"ondemand\"}'><b class=\"audio-tool-label\">Download<\/b><\/a>\n                <\/li>\n<li class=\"audio-tool audio-tool-embed\">\n                    <button data-embed-url=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/player\/embed\/nx-s1-5828810\/nx-s1-9776839\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"audio\",\"action\":\"audio_embed\",\"storyId\":\"nx-s1-5828810\",\"mediaId\":\"nx-s1-9776839\",\"title\":\"How to help children cope after shootings like the San Diego mosque killings\",\"type\":\"ondemand\"}'><b class=\"button-inner\"><b class=\"audio-tool-label\">Embed<\/b><\/b><\/button><\/p>\n<div class=\"audio-embed-overlay\">\n                        <label class=\"embed-label\"><br \/>\n                            <b class=\"label\">Embed<\/b><\/p>\n<p>                        <\/label><br \/>\n                        <b class=\"embed-url embed-url-touch\"><br \/>\n                            <code><b class=\"punctuation\">&lt;<\/b>iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/player\/embed\/nx-s1-5828810\/nx-s1-9776839\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" title=\"NPR embedded audio player\"&gt;<\/code><br \/>\n                        <\/b>\n                    <\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"audio-tool audio-tool-transcript\">\n                  <a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/transcripts\/nx-s1-5828810\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"audio\",\"action\":\"audio_click_transcript\",\"storyId\":\"nx-s1-5828810\",\"mediaId\":\"nx-s1-9776839\",\"title\":\"How to help children cope after shootings like the San Diego mosque killings\",\"type\":\"ondemand\"}'><br \/>\n                    <b class=\"audio-tool-label\">Transcript<\/b><br \/>\n                  <\/a>\n                <\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"storytext\" class=\"storytext storylocation linkLocation\">\n<div id=\"resg-s1-123129\" class=\"bucketwrap image large\">\n<div class=\"imagewrap has-source-dimensions\" data-crop-type=\"\" style=\"--source-width: 3587;--source-height: 2391\">\n<p>            <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/npr.brightspotcdn.com\/dims3\/default\/strip\/false\/crop\/3587x2391+0+0\/resize\/1100\/quality\/50\/format\/jpeg\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F7b%2F76%2F747e7f29442f8488c3acf8179c60%2Fap26138855372211.jpg\" data-template=\"https:\/\/npr.brightspotcdn.com\/dims3\/default\/strip\/false\/crop\/3587x2391+0+0\/resize\/{width}\/quality\/{quality}\/format\/{format}\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F7b%2F76%2F747e7f29442f8488c3acf8179c60%2Fap26138855372211.jpg\" class=\"img\" alt=\"A boy who appears to be elementary school aged, holds hands with a woman wearing a hijab, who holds hands with a man. They are walking in front of yellow police tape. \"><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"credit-caption\">\n<div class=\"caption-wrap\">\n<div class=\"caption\" aria-label=\"Image caption\">\n<p>\n                People hold hands near the scene of a shooting outside the Islamic Center of San Diego on Monday.<br \/>\n                <b class=\"credit\" aria-label=\"Image credit\"><br \/>\n                    Gregory Bull\/AP<br \/>\n                <\/b><br \/>\n                <b class=\"hide-caption\"><b>hide caption<\/b><\/b>\n            <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>            <b class=\"toggle-caption\"><b>toggle caption<\/b><\/b>\n    <\/div>\n<p>    <span class=\"credit\" aria-label=\"Image credit\"><br \/>\n        Gregory Bull\/AP<br \/>\n    <\/span>\n<\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>About 140 children in preschool through 3rd grade were in their classrooms at the Islamic Center of San Diego on Monday when police say two teenage gunmen killed three people. <\/p>\n<p>The victims were all men with deep ties to the mosque and the community. Police say their fast actions to call 911, lockdown the building and confront the gunmen kept the school children safe. The San Diego police<a href=\"https:\/\/www.reuters.com\/world\/us\/anti-islamic-writings-found-car-california-mosque-shooting-suspects-official-2026-05-19\/\" target=\"_blank\"> chief said the gunmen<\/a> came within 15 feet of being able to access the classrooms. The perpetrators, who <a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/05\/20\/nx-s1-5827035\/shooting-at-san-diego-islamic-center-may-have-been-a-hate-crime-authorities-say\" target=\"_blank\"><u>according to NPR reporting<\/u><\/a> apparently were influenced by white supremacist ideology, died by self-inflicted gunshot wounds, police say.<\/p>\n<div id=\"resnx-s1-5828810-100\" class=\"bucketwrap internallink insettwocolumn inset2col \">\n<div class=\"bucket img\">\n                  <a class=\"imagewrap\" id=\"featuredStackSquareImagenx-s1-5818460\" href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/05\/12\/nx-s1-5818460\/gun-safe-storage-children-suicide-homicide\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"recirculation\",\"action\":\"story_recirculation_click\",\"clickType\":\"inset box\",\"clickUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/05\/12\/nx-s1-5818460\/gun-safe-storage-children-suicide-homicide\"}'><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/npr.brightspotcdn.com\/dims3\/default\/strip\/false\/crop\/1780x1780+547+0\/resize\/100\/quality\/85\/format\/jpeg\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fed%2F91%2Fea93e27642ebaf9139618ed9eee1%2Fap24222677237409.jpg\" data-original=\"https:\/\/npr.brightspotcdn.com\/dims3\/default\/strip\/false\/crop\/1780x1780+547+0\/resize\/100\/quality\/100\/format\/jpeg\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fed%2F91%2Fea93e27642ebaf9139618ed9eee1%2Fap24222677237409.jpg\" data-template=\"https:\/\/npr.brightspotcdn.com\/dims3\/default\/strip\/false\/crop\/1780x1780+547+0\/resize\/{width}\/quality\/{quality}\/format\/{format}\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fed%2F91%2Fea93e27642ebaf9139618ed9eee1%2Fap24222677237409.jpg\" data-format=\"jpeg\" class=\"img lazyOnLoad\" alt=\"More than a dozen handguns are shown hanging on a display wall. Most are black and most have a yellow tag attached to them.\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/a>         <\/p>\n<div class=\"bucketblock\">\n<h3 class=\"slug\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/sections\/childrens-health\/\">Children&#8217;s Health <\/a><\/h3>\n<h3><a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/05\/12\/nx-s1-5818460\/gun-safe-storage-children-suicide-homicide\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"recirculation\",\"action\":\"story_recirculation_click\",\"clickType\":\"inset box\",\"clickUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/05\/12\/nx-s1-5818460\/gun-safe-storage-children-suicide-homicide\"}'>About 7 million kids live in a home with a loaded and unlocked gun, a study finds <\/a><\/h3>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"BUCKETBLOCK\" -->\n      <\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"BUCKET IMG\" -->\n   <\/div>\n<p><!-- END ID=\"RESNX-S1-5828810-100\" CLASS=\"BUCKETWRAP INTERNALLINK INSETTWOCOLUMN INSET2COL \" --><\/p>\n<p>As communities that have weathered such attacks know, the impact of these acts of violence can extend well beyond those who are injured or killed. Researchers and healthcare providers say those who witnessed the shooting \u2014 children and adults \u2014 and those grieving the deaths of the three men are most at risk to experience mental health symptoms in the immediate aftermath.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"edTag\">Symptoms to look for in children<\/h3>\n<p>Children are particularly vulnerable and proximity to a destructive event matters.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Individuals who were actually in the buildings and who were directly exposed, those are the individuals that we&#8217;re most concerned about,&#8221; says psychologist <a href=\"https:\/\/mmhpi.org\/staff\/julie-kaplow-phd-abpp\/\" target=\"_blank\"><u>Julie Kaplow<\/u><\/a>, executive vicepresident for Trauma and Grief Programs and Policy at the Meadows Mental Health Policy Institute in Texas. &#8220;We know that proximity to that kind of event is one of the strongest predictors of post-traumatic stress.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>People might find themselves struggling with &#8220;acute stress reactions,&#8221; says Kaplow, which tend to occur in the months after a shooting. Those symptoms can include, &#8220;feeling like the event is happening all over again, flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance, not wanting to think about or talk about what happened.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Children, too, can have nightmares and flashbacks. Symptoms can also show up in a child&#8217;s behaviors.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;A lot of the behaviors that we see, including in younger children, are things like excessive clinginess, not wanting to separate from their caregiver or another caring adult,&#8221; says Kaplow. &#8220;They may often show irritability or behavioral regressions.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>For example, a child who was potty trained may start having accidents, or a child who was sleeping on their own becomes scared to do that.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"edTag\">Children nearby may be affected, too<\/h3>\n<p>Kids in the larger community, who weren&#8217;t at the site of a shooting can also find themselves struggling. A <a href=\"https:\/\/injury.research.chop.edu\/blog\/posts\/mental-health-effects-exposure-gun-violence\" target=\"_blank\"><u>2023 study by the Children&#8217;s Hospital of Philadelphia<\/u><\/a> found that kids within a five-block-radius of a shooting were more likely to show up in hospital emergency rooms in the weeks after a shooting with symptoms of anxiety and suicidal thoughts.<\/p>\n<p>Those with previous traumas are more likely to experience anxiety and other symptoms. &#8220;This kind of an event can actually bring up traumatic memories for those who were either victims of a mass shooting or other types of shootings, or even just general losses that they may have had in the past,&#8221; says Kaplow.<\/p>\n<div id=\"resnx-s1-5828810-101\" class=\"bucketwrap internallink insettwocolumn inset2col \">\n<div class=\"bucket img\">\n                  <a class=\"imagewrap\" id=\"featuredStackSquareImagenx-s1-5501679\" href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/sections\/shots-health-news\/2025\/08\/19\/nx-s1-5501679\/gun-violence-prevention-trump-black-communities\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"recirculation\",\"action\":\"story_recirculation_click\",\"clickType\":\"inset box\",\"clickUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/sections\/shots-health-news\/2025\/08\/19\/nx-s1-5501679\/gun-violence-prevention-trump-black-communities\"}'><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/npr.brightspotcdn.com\/dims3\/default\/strip\/false\/crop\/969x969+101+0\/resize\/100\/quality\/85\/format\/jpeg\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F27%2Fb4%2F2c824e52487bb4dfa18213a380be%2Fbogalusa-00.jpg\" data-original=\"https:\/\/npr.brightspotcdn.com\/dims3\/default\/strip\/false\/crop\/969x969+101+0\/resize\/100\/quality\/100\/format\/jpeg\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F27%2Fb4%2F2c824e52487bb4dfa18213a380be%2Fbogalusa-00.jpg\" data-template=\"https:\/\/npr.brightspotcdn.com\/dims3\/default\/strip\/false\/crop\/969x969+101+0\/resize\/{width}\/quality\/{quality}\/format\/{format}\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F27%2Fb4%2F2c824e52487bb4dfa18213a380be%2Fbogalusa-00.jpg\" data-format=\"jpeg\" class=\"img lazyOnLoad\" alt=\"Tajdryn Forbes died at 19. He was the glue of his family, mother Naketra Guy said. She called him \u201chumble\u201d and \u201crespectful,\u201d a leader in the community and on the football field, where he shined.\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/a>         <\/p>\n<div class=\"bucketblock\">\n<h3 class=\"slug\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/sections\/health-shots\/133188449\/public-health\">Public Health <\/a><\/h3>\n<h3><a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/sections\/shots-health-news\/2025\/08\/19\/nx-s1-5501679\/gun-violence-prevention-trump-black-communities\" data-metrics-ga4='{\"category\":\"recirculation\",\"action\":\"story_recirculation_click\",\"clickType\":\"inset box\",\"clickUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/sections\/shots-health-news\/2025\/08\/19\/nx-s1-5501679\/gun-violence-prevention-trump-black-communities\"}'>Gun violence hits Black communities hardest. Trump is rolling back prevention efforts<\/a><\/h3>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"BUCKETBLOCK\" -->\n      <\/div>\n<p><!-- END CLASS=\"BUCKET IMG\" -->\n   <\/div>\n<p><!-- END ID=\"RESNX-S1-5828810-101\" CLASS=\"BUCKETWRAP INTERNALLINK INSETTWOCOLUMN INSET2COL \" --><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s important to identify kids who are struggling and connect them to mental health care, says Kaplow. &#8220;The silver lining of really tragic community-level situations like this is that often the behavioral health providers in the community will rally together to be able to provide more immediate care,&#8221; she says, especially to families directly affected.<\/p>\n<p>Another resource for kids is the <a href=\"https:\/\/lucinecenter.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><u>Lucine Center for Grief and Trauma<\/u><\/a>, she says. It &#8220;provides teletherapy to children and adolescents who&#8217;ve experienced any form of trauma or the death of a loved one.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"edTag\">How to buffer the trauma<\/h3>\n<p>Parents and other caregivers can also play ahuge role in helping buffer kids from this kind of trauma. And it starts with helping kids regain a sense of safety, says <a href=\"https:\/\/childmind.org\/bio\/vera-feuer-md\/?gclsrc=aw.ds&amp;gad_source=1&amp;gad_campaignid=23827207817&amp;gbraid=0AAAAAC7v1kSz1SWZBIv-YId9bzEQQIo4a&amp;gclid=CjwKCAjwt7XQBhBkEiwAtStpp4xdbMPCmQZ7j7-KCBd2mq_ng1dyyMSyha1c94OThy7wrOc8E-bhoBoCgVsQAvD_BwE\" target=\"_blank\"><u>Dr. Vera Feuer<\/u><\/a>, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and chief clinical officer at the <a href=\"https:\/\/childmind.org\/\" target=\"_blank\"><u>Child Mind Institute<\/u><\/a> in New York.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Even if it&#8217;s not a full sense of physical safety, it&#8217;s a sense of psychological safety at least,&#8221; Feuer says, &#8220;so that they feel that when they&#8217;re frightened, when they have a difficult time, they have us to come to.&#8221;<\/p>\n<ol class=\"edTag rte2-style-ol\">\n<li>\n<h3 class=\"edTag\">Keep communication open<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&#8220;I think that as caring adults with the best of intentions, sometimes we avoid mentioning the situation or talking about the situation because, you know, we&#8217;re worried that somehow we&#8217;re going to make kids more anxious,&#8221; says Kaplow.<\/p>\n<p>But it&#8217;s better to communicate with them openly, say Feuer and Kaplow.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;They might have concerns and they might have questions,&#8221; says Feuer. &#8220;It&#8217;s always OK to come to mom to talk about these things when you don&#8217;t understand something, when you&#8217;re confused, when you&#8217;re scared. It establishes that environment [of safety].&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Parents can open the discussion by saying something like, &#8220;&#8216;I know that this very scary, tragic thing happened,'&#8221; suggests Kaplow, &#8220;&#8216;What questions or worries do you have for me? What have you been thinking about it?'&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>That helps the child have some sense of &#8220;control over the conversation,&#8221; she adds. &#8220;So you&#8217;re meeting them where they are and you&#8217;re allowing them to express whatever questions they might have and directly address any concerns they might have.&#8221;<\/p>\n<ol class=\"edTag rte2-style-ol\">\n<li>\n<h3 class=\"edTag\">Calibrate how much information you share<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&#8220;Sometimes as caregivers, we may provide too much information where that can feel really overwhelming,&#8221; says Kaplow. Or parents might give too little information, which might send the message that the topic is not one to discuss openly.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s best to tailor the information you share based on your child&#8217;s age, says Feuer.<\/p>\n<p>She also suggests asking your child what they think happened. &#8220;It&#8217;s important to hear from them what they think happened,&#8221; she says, &#8220;so that you can then gently correct misconceptions. Give accurate information, and then see if they have questions that you can answer in a way that they understand.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And if a child didn&#8217;t see the violence or its aftermath, don&#8217;t provide any horrific detail that they don&#8217;t need to know, adds Feuer.<\/p>\n<ol class=\"edTag rte2-style-ol\">\n<li>\n<h3 class=\"edTag\">Focus on safeguarding actions that can be taken<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>When children experience or hear about a violent incident, parents tend to reassure them by promising them things like, &#8220;We live in a safe neighborhood. This will never happen to us,&#8221; says Feuer. But in the long run, those kinds of responses are unhelpful, she notes, &#8220;because it undermines trust.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead, she suggests explaining to kids what the family as a whole can do to be safe. That teaches kids to focus on what they can control, which is helpful at times when they feel helpless and anxious about things being out of their control.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Feeling like there&#8217;s chaos, feeling like there&#8217;s something beyond us that we absolutely cannot control is what creates the most anxiety and the most the loss of the sense of safety,&#8221; explains Feuer.<\/p>\n<ol class=\"edTag rte2-style-ol\">\n<li>\n<h3 class=\"edTag\">Practice techniques to stay calm\u00a0<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Trauma and stress essentially &#8220;lights the brain on fire,&#8221; explains Feuer, which feeds fear and anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>So, it&#8217;s important to teach children tools that can help their brains rest and recharge so they can feel calmer. Rest is important, says Feuer, and so are things that can distract the brain from those unpleasant feelings.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s also important to teach kids grounding techniques to help calm their anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>A useful grounding tool uses our five senses \u2013 sight, touch, smell, sound and taste.<a href=\"https:\/\/adaa.org\/living-with-anxiety\/personal-stories\/using-five-senses\" target=\"_blank\"><u> Start by naming five things<\/u><\/a> you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.<\/p>\n<p>Other tools might include deep breathing, taking a walk, or listening to music. Help your child figure out what works for them, suggests Feuer. And practice them yourself to model for your kids. Even better, practice as a family.<\/p>\n<ol class=\"edTag rte2-style-ol\">\n<li>\n<h3 class=\"edTag\">Put on your own oxygen mask first<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&#8220;This image of a parent putting on the oxygen mask first on the airplane [has] been used over and over again,&#8221; says Feuer. But the concept is important because parents can&#8217;t help their children fully if they are struggling themselves.<\/p>\n<p>So, she advises parents to also acknowledge how they too might be affected in the aftermath of a violent attack like the one in San Diego, and to do what they need to work through their own trauma and feelings.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Especially with trauma, we know that processing, talking about it, connecting with people is a really important part of reestablishing a sense of control and safety,&#8221; she says.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"tags\">\n<ul>\n<li><a class=\"tag tag--story\" href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/tags\/450957690\/mass-shooting\">mass shooting<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"tag tag--story\" href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/tags\/136206708\/ptsd\">PTSD<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"tag tag--story\" href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/tags\/523020568\/trauma\">trauma<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"tag tag--story\" 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20264:24<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":2122,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-world-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2120"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2120\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.usglobalnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}